The Love Dare - Day 34

Had a pleasant trip to Williamsburg tonight, to help celebrate our niece's high school graduation, and it made for a nice time to share life together... more so on the way down than on the way back.  It got pretty quiet on the way home.  I was the only one awake (at least in the front seat), which gave me time to think as I listened to my favorite CD - Rod Stewart's 'Great American Songbook' (which may represent the best evidence yet that I really am getting old, given that I'm not only listening to '40's and early '50's music, but I'm liking it!)  But anyway, I got to wishing I could express myself as well as some of these songs do, and by that I mean express what I'm feeling.  I can analyze things and explain things, but I wish I could express my emotions better.  For instance, when I hear the following words, I think, "Yes, this is what I feel for Karen." 

 
     I can only give you love that lasts forever,
     And a promise to be near each time you call,
     And the only heart I own,
     For you and you alone.
     That's all.  That's all.

     I can only give you country walks in springtime,
     And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall,
     And a love whose burning light,
     Will warm the winter's night.
     That's all.  That's all.

     There are those I am sure who have told you
     They would give you the world for a toy.
     All I have are these arms to enfold you
     And a love even time can't destroy.

     If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,
     You'll be glad to know that my demands are small;
     Say it's me that you'll adore
     For now and evermore.
     That's all.  That's all.
          © WARNER-TAMERLANE PUBLISHING CORP; MIXED BAG MUSIC INC;

I feel it, but why can't I say it?  It wouldn't even have to be as poetic as the song.  I'd just like to be more emotionally articulate. Surely there is something about two lovers engaged in a tender conversation that God really likes.  How else can we explain God inspiring so many of the passages from Song of Solomon to be recorded for all eternity?  Have you read that book?  It's unabashed love, communicated through passionate, verbal pictures!  I want to be able to do that for my wife.  Is there a way to learn how to do that? 

It's not entirely unlike what Jesus does for all of us when He fixes His eyes on us, gazes deep into our souls, and says, "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls" (Matthew 11:28-29).  In asking for help in expressing my deepest feelings, I'm just asking to be more like Jesus!










xxxxx

The Love Dare - Day 33

Today, I tried to notice all the neat things other people do for me.  I thought it might motivate me to keep me doing neat things for others.  And it turned out to be an encouraging (and motivating) day.  I won't list every story, but here are a few that helped make this a good day for me - a day that motivates me to keep loving people.

It wasn't even 6 AM before Karen told me she was proud of me.  I like words of affirmation!  Then, my fitness class trainer gave me a man-style compliment.  You know, the kind - delivered in a rough sort of way, but meant to express something positive.  "John, you'd better be at our potluck!"  I assured him I'd be there and then thought, "It's nice to be wanted."  The office crew was their usual encouraging selves today.  We all went out to eat together to celebrate my June birthday.  We always have a lot of good laughs when we go out together, and I can't help thinking that it makes us a better team.  Thanks everybody!  I even received encouragement from a young gal who I've never met.  She's trying to raise support to go to the mission field and sent some info to the church followed by an email asking if we had gotten her stuff.  I don't like to leave people hanging, especially big-hearted people who are trying to get to the mission field.  So I sent her an email and tried to fill it with a lot of encouragement as I broke the news to her that we would not be part of her support team.  She wrote back in less than 5 minutes, full of thanks for my 'kind email.'  And you know what?  Her email ministered to me!  Graciousness is always an attractive action. 

I was watching for love today, and I found affirmation, the showing of personal interest, encouragement, and graciousness, and now I'm motivated to be more affirming, more interested, more encouraging, more gracious.  Hebrews 10:24 says, "Let us consider how to stimulate one another to love..."  I don't know if the people who loved me today spent much time pondering how they'd do it, or if their actions were just spontaneous.  But I sure enjoyed the fruit of their actions.  Thank you, God, for using so many people to remind me of Your love.  I'm ready to be a messenger again!   

The Love Dare - Day 32

We're getting near the end of this 40 day Love Dare, and you may be thinking that the picture at the left is meant to depict me joyously crossing the finish line.  After all, I've been putting my love stories out there for 31 days now!  And yes, I'm in the picture all right, but I'm not victoriously crossing the finish line.  I'm the one falling on my chin - at least, that's what I did today.  Or did I?  I'm really not sure.

It isn't that I didn't do anything that could be construed as 'loving' today.  Actually, I did several things for other people in the course of this day.  But I didn't want to do any of them, and if I could have gotten out of them, I would have!  So I can't really claim those as acts of love, can I?  My motives certainly weren't very good.  On the other hand, I knew that doing them was the right thing to do, and that's why I did them.  James 4:17 says, "to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin."  But I did them!  So it must have been a good thing in the sight of God, even if my motives weren't as noble as they could have been.  I didn't have wrong motives (trying to look good, trying to impress God, etc.).  I simply didn't want to do the things I did, yet I did them anyway because they were the right things to do.  So, did I fall on my chin, or did I do good?

Jesus once told a parable about two sons (Matthew 21:28ff).  He started with a question.  "What do you think? A man had two sons, and he came to the first and said, 'Son, go work today in the vineyard.'  And he answered, 'I will not'; but afterward he regretted it and went.  The man came to the second and said the same thing; and he answered, 'I will, sir'; but he did not go.  Which of the two did the will of his father?"  Now, clearly, I was the first son today.  My heart was saying, "No!  I won't do it."  But I did it.  And the correct answer to Jesus' question of "which of the two did the will of his father," seems to have been "The first."  So maybe I really was doing the will of my love-exhorting Father today, even though I didn't really want to be doing it. Of course, there's always the possibility that I'm just justifying the half-hearted commitment to love that I exercised today.  If I was doing the will of my Father, I certainly missed out on the joy that often comes from a whole-hearted obedience.  And yet, I did the things that were right to do!

So... maybe that is me crossing the finish line in that picture!  I'd like to think it is, or at least that I am heading in the right direction.  But just to make sure, I think I'll try to be a bit more heart-felt in my love-stuff for tomorrow!  This is no time to be backing off.

The Love Dare - Day 31

It's day 31 of the Love Dare, and some good things are coming out of this dare.

• I'm thinking about the Love Dare sooner in the day now (compared to earlier days of the Dare), and I don't think it's only because I have to write a blog before I go to bed!  I'm beginning to believe that many little actions can add up to significant results.  

• I'm hugging Karen more often now, as a reminder - that everything is going to be okay, that I'm still with her no matter what, that I still love her.  A hug isn't really a big thing, but it can become a big thing if it is given genuinely.  

• I've become more intentional in raising relational kind of subjects ranging from talks about our shared schedules to conversations about thoughts and feelings.  

• I've done the dishes and folded laundry more over the past month - not because I like either of those things, but because it would be a help to the one who I love.  

• And I've spent much more time just trying to think up ways of demonstrating my love for Karen.  What's the old expression?  "It's the thought that counts!"  If that's true, then I've had a good month, and I feel good about it.  

But here's my goal - to "excel still more!"  That's what Paul urges the Thessalonians to do with regard to their love (1 Thess. 4:9-10).  He's already praised them for their love (1:3 & 3:6), but now he urges them to take the good things they were doing and "excel still more."  He wasn't pressing for a form of religious perfectionism that makes us feel guilty if our love isn't perfect.  He was simply urging us to put into action our hunger to be all that God has designed us to be, and not to settle for a level of love that is less than what God designed us to give.  He's urging a satisfaction with what we've done and a hunger to do better.

This is what I feel about the Love Dare, so far.  I'm satisfied with what I've done... but I'm dreaming about doing more.  I think that's the spirit which leads us to "excel still more." 

The Love Dare - Day 30

Here's the pieces to our day:  (1) An open pool (and the concession stand that goes with  it), (2) a holiday (lots of people with free time), and (3) summer-like weather (plenty of enticement to go to the pool).  I guess it was a big day at The Falls!  Karen left for the pool around 10:30 this morning, and I didn't expect to see her again until after 9 pm.  But just as Laura and I were finishing supper, our back door opened and Karen burst in with a look on her face that reminded me of an animal trapped in a cage surrounded by hordes of kids.  (It was a big day at the concession stand!)  She was home for about 1 minute (not sure what she got out of the closet, but she got something) and then was off again.  As she got in the car I yelled out how good it was to see her, and she smiled back and invited me to come down to the concession stand for a hotdog.  (Why didn't I think of that?)

  But here's where the love story comes in for today, and this time I was the recipient.  What I actually had for supper was the fruit of a sacrifice made by Karen.  Though she was planning to work an 11 hour day in a small room full of teenaged workers preparing and serving food to long lines of excited kids and teens trying to make up their minds what they want to buy and whether they have enough money to buy it, she still spent a good part of her morning making supper for those of us who would be relaxing at home all day (Laura and me).  It was a loving sacrifice which Laura and I got to enjoy while Karen was still at work!  It was Galatians 5:13 in action, which says, "through love serve one another."  Both Laura and I did a few things in return, but Karen did more.  It makes me proud of the good choice I made almost 35 years ago, and thankful that she thought I was a good choice as well!